Self-Care VS #SelfCare

Has #SelfCare Made Self-Care Inaccessible to Perfectly Ordinary Women?

Who wouldn’t want a green light to reclaim their time, say no when necessary and focus on their own well-being? It makes utter sense, especially in today’s fast-paced world where many of us feel overstressed often, to find comfort in self-care. When self-care was made popular, it was kind of revolutionary. (That being said, it’s nothing new—did you know Ancient Greek philosophers had self-care figured out over 3,000 years ago?) Nowadays, the term “self-care” is everywhere, returning over 200 million Google search results.

For women in particular, self-care has become much more than just prioritising your own well-being, self-care turned into a display of female power and agency, of standing up for yourself. For a woman, it was a momentary break from the world’s mixed messages of “because you’re worth it” while simultaneously tearing her down. Self-care permitted women to take seriously their own needs and desires.

However, somewhere along the line, this initial empowerment took a turn when self-care suffered a metamorphosis into #selfcare. This hashtag, affixed to images of picture-perfect female mental clarity, meant that perfectly normal women simply could not keep up. Think of influencers with perfectly voluminous ponytails and toned bodies in yoga poses, meditating and journaling against backdrops of their pricey holidays. This idealised #selfcare woman, while visually aesthetic, has created a “pink paywall” that makes self-care seem like a luxury reserved only for those who can afford it. Everywoman cannot see herself in #selfcare women, leading to feelings of inadequacy and shame. For ordinary women, keeping up with these unrealistic, “Instagrammable” standards is impossible.

In reality, self-care isn’t about bubble baths or manicures. Actually, it’s a lot less glamorous than that and often not pretty or easy. Self-care involves taking care of yourself in ways that resonate with you, even if they don’t fit the glossy #selfcare template.

Self-care is not reserved for those who can afford it. Yes, self-care can look like finishing a good book, but it also looks like you haven’t read a book in four years and don’t feel weird about it. It can be treating yourself to a massage or simply managing your day with baby spit and dry shampoo in your hair without feeling you’ve failed at femininity. 

Self-care is self-preservation, not about proving yourself to anyone. The idea that self-care is something you have to buy into or conform to an idealised image is problematic. Genuine self-care is about finding what helps you stay balanced and content, not about adhering to someone else’s standards or chasing likes and validation. It’s about making choices that support your well-being in a way that is authentic to you, not how it appears on Instagram. True self-care values personal fulfilment over public perception and emphasises the importance of self-preservation in the face of unrealistic expectations.

What want to know what you think…